It's a big one, many questions, many opinions. 1 Cor 7, Paul's account on marriage and singleness is probably the most quoted on the topic, and yet even then the nuts and bolts of it are difficult to tie down.
*Is marriage just an answer to man's sinful desires? Why then was there perfect marriage in the garden and why does Christ depict Himself as a bridegroom to the church? (Rev 21: 9-10)
*Why does Paul speak of people 'controlling themselves' as 'better' then marriage?
*Are circumstances different if someone has been married before and is now widowed?
*What is it to burn with passion, and as convoluded as it sounds does that include attraction? Should people who feel committed to singleness pack it in if they continue to be attracted to people, or 'learn to control their wills?'
*What about people who burn with passion but God chooses for them not to be married, isn't that the very reason it was made?
36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.[b]
39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. [1 Cor 7:36-40]
All thoughts gratefully received...
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What do you mean by 'is marriage just an answer to man's sinful desires?' Are you saying that sex is a sinful desire? I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard. I've come to see that Paul is actually pro-marriage. God is pro-marriage; he created it. But God also created singleness. I think we're free to choose. We also should be free from judgement from everyone else - sometimes the church can be family and marriage obsessed and leaves the singles behind. God gives people gifts - for example, I have the gift of singleness. That doesn't mean that God, in the future, will not give me the gift of marriage. It means, at this time of life, I have the gift of singleness. In 5 years, I might have the gift of marriage.
Someone may be committed to singleness for awhile and then receive the gift of marriage. There's nothing wrong with this.
As always, motives and intentions are key in figuring it out. Why/why get married? Why/why not be single?
As the preacher at church last night said, 'Jesus.was.single'. Singleness has its pro's and con's. Marriage has it's pro's and con's. God may gift us with one, or both.
I'm getting closer to understanding this in the sense that I'm appreciating marriage more, but still lost in the sense that marriage is portrayed by Paul as something to resolve 'burning with passion'. Why use such an amazing model of human relaionship as a way of avoiding sexual sin?
ReplyDeleteI think one of the ways we know that marriage good is that we desire sex - and if you are burning with passion for someone (who is a Christian, and you are seriously thinking of committing your life to) then that's probably a good indication that you should get married. It's not the only reason, but I'm sure it's one.
ReplyDeleteRemember that Paul's not the only one to talk about marriage, and he's just talking about one aspect of it. Its sole purpose isn't to avoid sexual sin. I remember Driscoll saying at Engage last year that the purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not happy.