Isn't it the way! I don't know how many times I've recognised a change in the way I behave and then grieved the old habit! Dear Lord, please help me to dress more modestly brings about frustrations of looking frumpy, changes to my language has me feeling like I can't articulate myself (an out and out lie if ever there was one!), showing love to people at church I find difficult to be around makes me feel isolated and unengaged, using my money differently has me imagining what I could spend it on if only...
It's dumb hey! I'm a big fan of the theory that changing your behaviour can change your attitude, so long as you're consistent enough to make it through the initial phase, and pray that God can change your heart. We are of course, not promised that at all, it could be a struggle for us our whole lives, but I find God in his great mercy and desire for us to live in a godly manner usually blesses my experience.
I think the other thing that short-circuits our generation from implementing change is our instantaneous culture...if you understand the concept of twitter you'll know what I'm talking about. Gone are the days of progressive development, like it or not, we are used to getting what we want 10 seconds ago. Thus the concept of perservering through change is difficult for us to comprehend. Our attention span just isn't long enough.
It is however, what God wants for us, to align our will with his own, and that involves change. I'm still trying to work out both what I want and what God would want my character to look like tangibly, but I find it interesting to imagine myself as more temperate, humble or gentle. What would you like to see more of in yourself? If you could be described in a single word, what would you want it to be?
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